Girls Without Shoes

October 4, 2008

Clown Jeans

Filed under: fiction,Humor,short pieces,Uncategorized — girlswithoutshoes @ 6:27 am
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I have always thought I would make a good clown. No a great clown. I am a natural born clown anyway. I love to make people laugh, not by telling jokes, but by telling stories. I love slapstick. I love exagerated stories and antics. I love the props, like the giant shoes, colored hair, huge overdone lips and eyelashes. I know I would also love the silly clown houses and cars. The clown’s family would be cute too. I do love the little clown babies. I do not care for the sad clowns really, only the happy ones. The sad clowns, I find depressing. Who wants to be around a depressed clown? A scary clown is not a good idea either. Little children should not be scared. Likewise adults neither.

I think a magical kind of clown would be my persona. Maybe a sort of fairy clown. Maybe a hillbilly girl clown with pigtails. A potbellied pig could be her sidekick. I really don’t know all of the clown lingo yet, as I have not applied for clown school yet. Hmmmnnn, maybe a clown scholarship would be in order. I will have to check into that……

Can you imagine, your alarm goes off each morning, and you get up, get dressed for work? You put on your clown hair, pull on your clown jeans. What fun that would be. How could you possibly not want to go to work? It would be appropriate to have a special clown car to drive to work in, advertising your talent. With the gas prices, it would make sense to car pool with other clowns. What a sight that would be. Car pooling Clowns. Can you picture that? Can you see it? I can, a whole car full of clowns riding down the freeway doing all kinds of crazy stunts.

I am wondering if you could escape traffic tickets? Probably not, but it might make for a lesser charge along with the policeman’s smile I would think. I would not suggest wearing your clown outfit to court however. Court clowns are frowned upon by most Judges.

I doubt if there is a clown union. Clowns are probably considered self employed, so health benefits probably are lacking also. Have you ever heard of a clown on food stamps or unemployment?

Can you imagine dropping your children off at their school? All of their friends would want to come home with them, unless of course they were the children who were really afraid of clowns. Once they got into the Junior High Stage, it would probably keep their friends away. I would imagine it would be great to use as far as backing up threats. “Now, if you don’t quit sassing me, and get that homework done, I swear I will come and sit in your classroom right next to you and I will wear the biggest brightest nose I own! ” Yes, that might be a help with the teenage years also.

My soul sister and I were discussing the possibility of flunking out of clown school………., there would be no doubt of your being branded a huge failure. I mean if you can’t make it as a clown, come on. It would be embarrassing if you were a bad clown. I would think it would take a special kind of person to be a successful clown. Some people are doctor’s, some policemen, some waitresses, some are clowns.

I always joke about being a clown, saying that I want to go to clown school. My brother says, “What do ya mean? You are a clown, you don’t need school for that. We are both clowns by nature. ” I think my husband and I would probably be a good clown team. Now as for the kids, I don’t think they have it in them, at least not yet. I don’t think clowning is necessarily hereditary.

I am wondering if this quest for craziness on my part, for this exaggerated humor has something to do with other things in my life that have been serious in nature. An escape from life’s seriousness, a reprieve if you will. Maybe, maybe not. Maybe it has something to do with being a sort of depressed, repressed child, not because I did not have good parents, but there was a depressed atmosphere in our household, due to my mom’s misdiagnosed illness. Maybe I carry a smidge of her bipolar gene? Doctor’s and those who know me don’t think so.

I love to laugh, I love to weave humor into my stories, my speech, my work, and my life. I love humor to such an extended degree, maybe more than the average Joe. I think I know why, I believe I have a Clown Gene, that must be it. There is no other explanation. I am sure I have discovered a new gene that scientists are not even aware of.

I think I can withstand anything, any bad day, or any bad time in life as long as I have humor, family and friends, and faith in God.

Oh and hey please, oh please, don’t forget to laugh…………………………..



  1. I second that, laughter is the best medicine and I am the clown in the crowd, I adore to make others laugh… hmm that reminds me of a story – one day.

    Lol, Hey Clown Sista……………..

    Comment by SanityFound — October 5, 2008 @ 10:31 am

  2. Nice shoes. I have a pair just like them.
    I enjoy your stories. Thanks.

    Thank you, I am glad someone enjoys my stories. If you need to borrow the shoes, let me know. LOL

    Comment by donstuff — October 6, 2008 @ 5:50 am

  3. They’re likely my size – I wear a 15.

    Comment by donstuff — October 6, 2008 @ 6:46 am

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